I really don't know why I chose this title for my blog, maybe because of Join the Club's song that keeps playing in my head for days now and maybe because I can also relate to it.
I'm trying share my crazy roller coaster ride like romantic relationships. I don't know if you'll going to learn something from it but I hope you do.
These past few years there's a lot of things that happened in my life that I can't explain why I went through them. Still when I come to think of it I realized that it all happens for a reason, if he didn't cheated on me and batters me emotionally I would still hang on to that abusive relationship with him and if the other guy didn't screw up my life I would still be a stupid girl believing his lies and if I didn't met this guy I would still be in a "single and ready to mingle" kind of life.
First love dies... Yeah! You heard it right! Why do I say so? Because I've experience it. The first time I fell in love was when I was a Junior high school student ( I practiced flirting at a very young age! LOL). Anyway, back then I thought that was love but now when I think about those times I think it's just a romantic infatuation. I was too young to know what a true love is but then I still believed that it was a true love before and that relationship made me happy. It's a very exciting relationship cause we're in a secret relationship that our parents don't know of. We date secretly and we do show our affection towards each other secretly as well. I thought it'll be a fairy tale like love story but then still it didn't end up happily ever after.
We met each other in our sophomore days as classmates. I'm one of the popular students in class and he's one of the shadows. Let's just call him "The Singer" cause he's a vocalist in a band in my school before. His voice is nice and he sounded like Chester from Linkin Park. We became friends because he is having a crush on my close friend. I volunteered to be the "bridge" between them and tried to get him closer to her. One day we had an educational trip in our school for 2 days. There's a night where I end up sitting next to him in a bus. As we travel to the City of Pines the temperature inside the bus gets colder so he wrapped his arms around me and made me feel warm until we reach the City. That's when I first felt the "butterflies in my tummy" sensation. That's the moment I told myself "I think I like him." That's the time we started to became closer to each other and that time I was assuming he's feeling the same way towards me but I was wrong. One day he told me that he's in love with my other friend and that he sees me as a friend only. I felt stupid and I cried all night. I told myself "I need to forget him and stay away from him". That time I worked out and made myself sexier. I vowed that when he sees me he'll regret everything he said. Fist day of Junior high school class I wore a bared shoulders blouse and a mid length hugging skirt. Everyone was shocked to see me that way and I saw his reaction he was amazed by how beautiful I looked that time. He tried to approach me but then I ignored him. To cut things short, We ended up being close friends again and he courted me afterwards and we end up being in a relationship.
Our relationship is very nice. We never had a misunderstanding. I thought this will last forever but then after 3 years of a good relationship we ended it all for good. Both parties do not agree on our relationship so we just ended it up. We remained friends cause we ended our relationship in a good way. It hurts like hell but then we must accept that things don't stay for a long time even if we wanted to. If we stayed together we'll hurt our families. Yes, I do felt betrayed and toyed but then I realized it's better to end this way and that relationship thought me how to love and how it feels to be broken heart for the first time. It took 1-2 years before I completely moved on. I know it's hard. I cried every night missing the guy that used to be there. I felt suicidal. I felt the whole world is crumbling. Then God helped me to stay sane for the rest of my life after that.
First love dies. Yes, it's true but First Love will teach you a lot of things and it's a matter on how you'll absorb those lessons. It's true that the "first cut is the deepest" but still it heals and will make you stronger and wiser.
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